When it comes time to writing wedding invitations, you don’t always know what to do … If it’s a friend, no problem! Everything is allowed! But if it is serious mail, if you have to show yourself in your best light, the invitation is important. The invitation is a bit like your image, or rather the one you want to give. To avoid making mistakes in the form of writing a wedding invite, follow these tips.
Married or single? Miss, Ms or Mrs? For administrations, it is a question of identifying marital status. Married or single? the silly question these days, knowing that you can live as a couple without being married and vice versa, married but separated, etc. This question, which lays bare your civil status and your private life, is perfectly intrusive. Contrary to popular usage, the most respectful term is “Madame”. This is the one to use when in doubt.
The existence of the three different terms to designate married women and those who do not constitute discrimination against women since such differentiation does not exist for men. It seems to indicate that marriage confers a different value on a woman, while a man’s value is not affected by this legal and social activism.
Young lady and Miss
Based on a tapestry from Bern Cathedral. In the Middle Ages, “maiden” referred to the noble girl, or noblewoman without titles, married or by name, and the “Miss” the young gentleman who was not yet a knight. These and those having certainly forged ties specific to their age, the words subsequently took on a courteous meaning.
From the 18th century onwards, the term “miss” referred to unmarried women throughout their lives, whether they were young single, or divorced. The term is then strictly associated with marital status, designating the woman as virgin and “to be married”.
Today, “Miss” is unusual and only “Ms.” remains, rather designating young girls, minors and women presumed unmarried, but this term is no longer strictly indicative of marital status. Indeed, marriage no longer being an essential stage in a woman’s life, the use of “miss” is now a function of age as an index of the power of seduction or fertility: from a certain age, or as soon as they are mothers, many women prefer the “Ms.”, whether they are married or not.
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Mrs is the title of civility given to women who are either married, widowed, or divorced. It can also be used to address a woman without consideration of marital status. This term has however remained unusual, the term “Mrs” is commonly used in case of doubt about the marital status of the woman to whom one is speaking. The custom is to abbreviate Madame or Mizz (and not in Me which is the abbreviation of Master). in English, Mrs is also used when addressing the person directly. By extension, the term has acquired other meanings including:
Madame, title given historically to empresses, queens, princesses, and more generally to women of high birth. Abbesses are also called Madame.
A quick guide to the perfect wedding invitation:
This guide to wedding invitations should help you know all about when to send, what to write and more. The label will be respected, that’s for sure!
The making time of wedding invitations is often underestimated by the bride and groom. The entire process takes several weeks (and sometimes a few months). Here are the main stages:
- Finalize the guest list and count the number of invitations needed
- Gather mailing addresses of all guests
- Writing the text of the invitation, the reply card, and the information cards
- Revision of texts
- Choice of graphic style and format
- Graphic design and printing quote requests (or shopping and costing for handmade, home-printed or ordered online invitations)
- Graphic design
- Revision and corrections (sometimes several versions are made before arriving at the final version)
- Approval of printed or PDF proofs
- Printing and assembly (some printing companies have a lead time of up to 3 weeks for this step, depending on the degree of complexity)
- Address printing or handwriting
- Enveloping, stamping and mailing
Sending and response schedule
The bride and groom often tend to send out invitations very early (more than 4 months in advance) and give a long response time. They are then surprised that the answers are slow to reach them. Why? Because the guests get the invitation, see the deadline which is three months away, tell themselves they have time to respond later, put it all aside, and finally forget to respond! And if you send your invitations 6 months in advance and give a month to respond, there is a good chance that some guests’ situation will change after they return their reply card (travel for work, illness, unforeseen events, etc.). This will, therefore, require you to manage response changes, which is not ideal.
Reminder: It is important to call back all those who did not respond. Their reply card may have been lost, they may have forgotten or believed that they had answered, taken it for granted, etc. Never take for granted that a person who did not respond will not come; you might see her show up on the wedding day and be annoyed!
Worried that 3 or 4 months will not be enough for your guests to make sure they are available? Let them know the wedding date well before the invitation is sent by sending them a save-the-date (by email or mail) or by mentioning them over the phone or in person, quite simply.
Postage format and costs
Did you know those square format invitations are not standard and cost more in postage? And that there is a minimum size for the reply card envelope so as not to incur additional charges (larger than the minimum US size, so be careful with online orders)? Check with Royal Mail for current standards and have a sample of your invitation measured and weighed before stamping everything. If postage is insufficient, delivery is compromised or slowed down, a situation you will want to avoid.
In general, we plan to send one invitation per address. However, if two adults live together without being in a couple (roommates, adult, and elderly parent, etc.), it is preferable to send them individual invitations, with the mention “and guest” if necessary. Always order several extra invitations to keep as a keepsake and for last-minute omissions and invitations. It would cost you a hell of a lot to reprint a small number of invitations, so you better plan ahead.
Depending on the etiquette, you must include the names of all your guests (or the words “and family”) on the invitation envelope. However, if you don’t want to invite the kids and want to avoid ambiguities (because guests don’t necessarily know the rules of etiquette!), You could put a mention like these in the invitation text. : “To make the most of the evening, the reception will be between adults only. “Or” Book your babysitters for the night of the year! ”
If some of your guests are not invited to the meal, but the dance party only, you will need to make an invitation for the ceremony and a separate card for the reception or the dance party (or two invitation templates).
It’s common to add “Bridal Basket” to the bottom of the invitation to let guests know that you prefer cash gifts. If you are requesting a contribution to the meal, indicate it on the reply card. Driving Directions It is up to you to see if it is necessary to include driving directions on an additional card in addition to the full address of the premises. It is preferable to do this in the case of remote sites, less well-identified, or if the GPS tends to be wrong.
If you are getting married in town, it may be appreciated to suggest nearby parking options and rates. Accommodation Have you reserved a block of rooms in a hotel, inn or bed and breakfast? Mention it to your guests with the contact details of the establishment, the name or code of your group, and the deadline for making the reservation.
If you offer several choices of starters or main dishes to your guests (or if you are asking for a financial contribution for the meal), it can be a nice touch to include the detailed menu in your invitation, on a cardboard box. separate. You can also indicate here whether an open or cash bar will be available to guests (so that they can plan their transport or cash accordingly).
Brunch the next day
Are you organizing a brunch the next day with all your guests? You can include a note about it with the wedding invitation.
RSVP without reply card
It is now possible to collect confirmation other than with a mailed reply card. Many bride and groom opt for a website with a full RSVP form (which asks for everyone’s names, meal choices, allergies, etc.). Others will ask for a response by email (be careful: guests may omit certain information and you will need to exchange emails with them to gather all the necessary details). If you are going ahead with one of these response methods, simply state this at the bottom of the invitation: “Response desired before xxxx to (web address) or to (email address)”.
We all make small mistakes from time to time, so it is essential to have your texts revised by a few relatives because a faultless invitation is also a mark of politeness.
Addressing the announcement
Write the names of all your guests on the envelope or use the following wording as inspiration:
Mrs. X and Mr. Y
Ms. X and her guest
Mr. Y and his guest
Mrs. X, Mr. Y, and family
Mrs. X, Mr. Y, and child Z
Sir, Madam or neither? It is perfectly acceptable to address the invitations omitting the greetings Mr., Mrs., and Miss, but you can choose to do this for your older guests. Note that Mr. and Mrs. X formula, for a married couple, is rather outdated (except for previous generations) since the spouses now keep their names. It is then preferable to put both first and last names.
Invitation envelopes – additional tips:
If a couple’s children are not mentioned, they are not invited, but some couples assume that their children are always invited to them. Do not hesitate to let those around you know if the children are not invited so that they can tell other guests about it to avoid misunderstandings.
Traditionally, the envelope of the invitation is handwritten in black ink, but this tradition is less and less respected and color ink to match the invitations is often more elegant.
Always check the shipping rate for your invitations (fully assembled and in their envelope) before purchasing your stamps: the rate varies depending on the size and weight of the envelope.
A quick tip: Number the reply cards on the back and indicate the number corresponding to each invitation on your guest list. So if a guest forgets to write their name, but sends the reply card back to you, you’ll know who it is! It’s rare, but it happens sometimes! Did this article help you? What stage are you at for your invitations? Happy planning!
KathyKathy is a freelance writer who specializes in writing about all aspects of a wedding—from the planning to the event itself. She graduated from the University of Technology in Sydney (yes, Australia!), with a degree in media and communication. She also became an American citizen and loves her new home country. Kathy has somewhat of a boho spirit and enjoys some great rock-n-roll music. She is married and enjoys working from home with her husband, who’s also a writer. They both try to get out as often as possible by taking long walks, visiting wineries on the weekend, and more. While they don’t yet have kids, Kathy and her husband have plans to expand their family in the next year or two!
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